Book Review: Snow Like Ashes by Sara Raasch

Title: Snow Like Ashes (Snow Like Ashes #1)
Author: Sara Raasch
Publisher: Balzer + Bray
Publishing Date: October 14th 2014
Length: 416 pages
Keywords: YA, fantasy, romance, magic, kingdoms, war
Source: Edelweiss

A heartbroken girl. A fierce warrior. A hero in the making.

Sixteen years ago the Kingdom of Winter was conquered and its citizens enslaved, leaving them without magic or a monarch. Now, the Winterians’ only hope for freedom is the eight survivors who managed to escape, and who have been waiting for the opportunity to steal back Winter’s magic and rebuild the kingdom ever since.

Orphaned as an infant during Winter’s defeat, Meira has lived her whole life as a refugee, raised by the Winterians’ general, Sir. Training to be a warrior—and desperately in love with her best friend, and future king, Mather — she would do anything to help her kingdom rise to power again.

So when scouts discover the location of the ancient locket that can restore Winter’s magic, Meira decides to go after it herself. Finally, she’s scaling towers, fighting enemy soldiers, and serving her kingdom just as she’s always dreamed she would. But the mission doesn’t go as planned, and Meira soon finds herself thrust into a world of evil magic and dangerous politics – and ultimately comes to realize that her destiny is not, never has been, her own.

Summary by Goodreads

Sara Raasch's debut novel was one of my favourite reads in 2014. In fact Sara Raasch is one of my favourite authors, too. I got to meet Sara at her SNOW LIKE ASHES launch party at Books of Wonder in New York last year. She was just the sweetest, a bit nervous and so modest about her brilliant book!

It wasn't only the stunning cover that made me want to read SNOW LIKE ASHES. It was the promise to let my mind wander to an entirely new and enchanting world. I'm also easily hooked by such a love story as we are promised between Meira and Mather.

   The entire character cast of SNOW LIKE ASHES is made of awesome. Meira is an orphan girl and she lives the life of a refugee. Still she's optimistic about a brighter future and set on getting back the kingdom of Winter and freeing her enslaved fellow Winterians. The story is told from Meira's point of view and so we get to know her very well, her deepest feelings, thoughts and motivations. Mather is her best friend and Meira has been secretly in love with him (I'm not so secretly in love with him, too). There's only one problem. Mather is the future king of Winter and all the sorrow and hope of an entire kingdom is resting on his shoulders. He's smart, loyal and and a fearless leader. So I'm sure he'll be on many readers' book boyfriend lists!

   At this point I have to warn you though, that there's another man in Meira's life who is trying to win her over. So yeah, SNOW LIKE ASHES comes along with a love triangle, which is not my favourite, but definitely doesn't make the story of SNOW LIKE ASHES any less enjoyable.

   Meira and Mather's group is made up of eight refugees in total. They are a group of isolated Winterians, and you just can't but love every single one of these peculiar characters and want to get to know them all. As they are the last of their kingdom to be free, to be able to put up resistance against the oppressive Spring tyrant, their group is tightly knit and they are all so brilliantly fierce and dedicated to their goal. In numbers they are weak, but in courage and belief they are very strong. So Meira and Mather's story is also the story about the gigantic feat of a group of eight refugees who fight for themselves, to protect what they love most and together rebuild their kingdom of Winter.

At the beginning of SNOW LIKE ASHES we are provided with a map of Primoria, showing where each kingdom is located. This map really helps navigating the world of Primora and makes it much easier to follow Meira's journey in SNOW LIKE ASHES. A few months ago Sara Raasch shared this exact same map in her featured Behind The Pages post with annotated fun facts. Have a look at the post here.

What fascinated me most about SNOW LIKE ASHES are the eight kingdoms of Primoria that Sara Raasch imagined and so richly brought to life in her captivating debut novel! There are four Season kingdoms and four Rhythm kingdoms. Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. Yakim, Paisly, Ventralli and Cordell. Every kingdom has their own king or queen, depending on the bloodline. And these royals are the only ones who can wield magic, brought to them by special conduits. Clever, huh? It is an elaborate and very smart concept that allows for many different and ever new adventurous and smart storylines to spring from it. I just love every single detail about SNOW LIKE ASHES!

5/5 ***** SNOW LIKE ASHES - A phenomenal start to Sara Raasch's magical YA fantasy trilogy!

Sara Raasch is an extraordinarily articulate and imaginative, young, talented author who I hope gets a ton more book deals beside her SNOW LIKE ASHES trilogy. Her world building in SNOW LIKE ASHES is exceptionally beautiful and rich, her characters sincere and so fierce! There is also an ultimate villain and a noble goal to risk everything for. What else is there to be desired?! If you haven't read Sara's debut book I recommend getting a day off so you can delve into her world of Primoria, a world with eight kingdoms, one more fascinating than the other, and spend a time-out of the most fulfilling and bookish kind!

"But he's not just Mather – he is Winter. He will always be Winter first and foremost, and there is a palace in his future, not a cottage.

So I help him over to the fire and hurry to pack what I'll need for the trip, moving and doing in silence because silence is infinitely easier than talking. And now, finally, I'm moving and doing what I've always wanted – helping my kingdom." – p.21

SNOW LIKE ASHES you will enjoy these three fellow YA fantasy stories: SHADOW AND BONE by Leigh Bardugo, THE WINNER'S CURSE by Marie Rutkoski and THE GIRL OF FIRE AND THRONS by Rae Carson. 

 

 
* Have you read ICICLES LIKE KINDLING, the original prologue to the story? You can read it here for free.

* Click here for an excerpt of SNOW LIKE ASHES!

* Want to meet Sara Raasch? Check out her event schedule.

* For more information about Sara Raasch and her books visit www.sararaasch.tumblr.com.

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Mini Review: Oh Yeah, Audrey! by Tucker Shaw

Audrey Hepburn fan alert! OH YEAH, AUDREY! is to be read after a successful shopping day on Fifth Avenue, or a Breakfast at Tiffany's movie marathon with your best friends. It is a fast and fun read!

Oh Yeah, Audrey! by Tucker Shaw

"It’s 5:00 a.m. on Fifth Avenue, and 16-year-old Gemma Beasley is standing in front of Tiffany & Co. wearing the perfect black dress with her coffee in hand—just like Holly Golightly. As the cofounder of a successful Tumblr blog—Oh Yeah Audrey!—devoted to all things Audrey Hepburn, Gemma has traveled to New York in order to meet up with her fellow bloggers for the first time. She has meticulously planned out a 24-hour adventure in homage to Breakfast at Tiffany’s; however, her plans are derailed when a glamorous boy sweeps in and offers her the New York experience she’s always dreamed of. Gemma soon learns who her true friends are and that, sometimes, no matter where you go, you just end up finding yourself." (Summary by Goodreads) 
   Just look at this funky cover! It promises a light and fun read with lots of fabulous Breakfast at Tiffany's fandom moments. OH YEAH, AUDREY! has a simple but stylish page design as well. It nicely compliments the 60s theme and Audrey Hepburn chic of Gemma's story.

In Gemma's story there is a great focus on style, fashion and pop culture! The movie Breakfast at Tiffany's is our protagonists' pop culture bible and so there are many comparisons, quotes and references strewn across the story. I really enjoyed them! It's no surprise Gemma's adventure starts on Fifth Avenue at 5 a.m. in the morning. I bet you can guess why...that's the beginning of Holly Golightly's story, too.

   Divided into three parts, with various shorter chapters, OH YEAH, AUDREY! tells the story of fans, of friends who dedicate a special day to their idol Audrey Hepburn. The first chapter starts at 5:00 a.m., followed by the next chapter at 5:05 a.m., the next at 5:10 a.m. and so on. This makes it easy to keep track of Gemma's adventurous day. Set in New York, Gemma's story shows what it means to be young, get swept away in the rush of a big city and so many new possibilities.

   Readers should be prepared to spend one crazy fun day in New York. Not every of Gemma's decisions is reasonable and it might be possible that she isn't the reader's favourite all the time. Her story isn't always as substantial as I'd hoped for it to be. But in general she and her friends were awesome, young and lively characters that allow readers to identify with. Everyone has had to be fan of someone or something at some point in his life. When I thought of my beloved series and icons my heart only grew fonder of the Audrey fanatics we meet in Tucker Shaw's OH YEAH, AUDREY!. More people should celebrate what they love, no matter what others think. Most important is to feel good about yourself and what you do and have fun!

3,5/5 ***/* OH YEAH, AUDREY! - A fun, quirky tribute to Audrey Hepburn and the glamour and kindness she contributed to Hollywood!

Gemma's story empowers readers to fully embrace their fandom! Fans of Audrey Hepburn, Tiffany & Co. and Breakfast at Tiffany's will sure enjoy Gemma's story, filled with live-the-moment decisions, big city glamour and classic fan talk. More YA books should be dedicated to outright crazy adventures, where everything is possible, created by fandom.

Publisher: Amulet Books

Publishing Date: October 14th 2014

Length: 243 pages

Keywords: YA, contemporary, romance, friendship, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Audrey Hepburn

Source: Publisher
Goodreads Summary  
Oh Yeah, Audrey! Excerpt  

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Mini Review: The Dolls by Kiki Sullivan

Advertised as "sultry, seductive [and] irresistible", the second book in this series, MIDNIGHT DOLLS, comes out September 1st 2015. Who of you has this fall release on their wishlist?

The Dolls by Kiki Sullivan

Eveny Cheval hasn't been to the town of Carrefour in a long time. That's the place she was born; also the place where her own mother died many years ago under unresolved circumstances. So when she returns to Carrefour with her aunt, her arrival is met not only with curiosity but rumours and hidden agendas, too.

Back in Carrefour Eveny meets Peregrine and Chloe. Being known as the Dolls the two consider themselves the universal centre of attention. They are beautiful, rich and popular so it's no wonder they are ruling the school. Every boy loves them and they even have their own henchmen. Whatever the girls want, their spells buy them. Together they are constantly trying to persuade Eveny to join them because she is a Doll, too. So a great part of the story is made up of the three girls practicing spells and introducing Eveny to the world of magic.

   Eveny was an acceptable protagonist, but I really couldn't care less about Peregrine and Chloe's superficiality and promiscuity. There might be more to them than one first notices, but overall I perceived them as rather annoying and dull characters. With the intention to add a bit more excitement to the story than a girly and cliché group dynamic, Kiki Sullivan sent an unknown killer after the Dolls. 
   At first I was intrigued by the scenery and the city of Carrefour, a magical town in the South. Its city gates only open for people who are in possession of a magic key. Eveny lives in an old house with a mysterious housekeeper. Set in Louisiana the story carries a certain mysterious and atmospheric feel to it. Just not as much as I'd hoped for. Furthermore I would have wished for the girls to be more adult and serious characters. Overall I guess THE DOLLS just wasn't my kind of story. 

2,5/5 **/* THE DOLLS - Equipped with lip gloss, high heels, a snake and a bunch of old spells, Eveny, Chloe and Peregrine are fighting evil.

Being a fan of the Tv show Pretty Little Liars I was very much looking forward to read THE DOLLS. I had hoped for Kiki Sullivan's novel to be an even darker and more atmospheric read than mentioned Tv show but with the same girl power and drama. Sadly, it wasn't at all what I'd hoped for. The concept of the Dolls is rather dull, Eveny's love story is weak and all the potential Southern gothic flair mostly wasted.  

 

Publisher: Usborne Publishing

Publishing Date: March 1st 2015

Length: 432 pages

Keywords:YA, thriller, romance, mystery, magic

Source: Publisher
Goodreads Summary  
The Dolls Excerpt  

Author's Homepage

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Mini Review: The Two of Us by Andy Jones

Today I'm back with a mini review of THE TWO OF US by Andy Jones. Since the blog has been a bit too quiet for my taste in the past months, I've decided to post a few mini reviews in the next weeks in order to get caught up with my review schedule and rebuild a blogging routine. Really hoping this plan works. Let's do this!

The Two of Us by Andy Jones

Andy Jones' newest fiction release tells the story of Ivy and Fisher who have known each other for about nineteen days. Yet they both carry a strong conviction to spend the rest of their lives together. It's not only that they have to convince their friends and parents about the validity of their plan and feelings, but the reader and above all themselves as well. Their feelings for each other aren't always easy to admit, their approaches at honesty and loyalty not always fully comprehensible. Yet, Ivy and Fisher's romance is as comfortable and relatable to readers as it is, because their story just feels real.   Told from Fisher's perspective we are learning bit by bit about the beginning of Ivy and Fisher's love story and how their feelings for each other change and intensify over time. Great pick of a pov! Fisher is funny and committed, a fabulous protagonist. Just like him we never know entirely what is going on in Ivy's mind. Sometimes I was a tad glad, we don't. Based on her often reserved and withdrawn behavior I couldn't always be sure about her next move. Some parts of the story were definitely weaker than others and that's why I couldn't name THE TWO OF US a favourite read, despite enjoying it as an overall quick contemporary read. My favourite part about this book probably are the secondary characters that make THE TWO OF US extra special. I assure you, you'll love El!

3,5/5 ***/* THE TWO OF US - A surprising everyday love story, with a relatable narrator and a very moving side plot!

THE TWO OF US is a fast-paced read, even though there isn't really that much action to the story. Despite a few weak points to the story and its female protagonist, it's the exceptionally ordinary characters and quirky dialogues that make for a likable contemporary read. You should give it a try!  

Publisher: Simon & Schuster UK

Publishing Date: May 7th 2015

Length: 400 pages

Keywords: romance, chick-lit, friendship, family, drama

Source: Publisher
Goodreads Summary  
The Two of Us Excerpt 

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Vacation Reads

 

 

Can you believe it's July already? 2015 has been crazy so far and I have no idea what happed to my intended blogging time. I spent three months interning at a publisher's house in Hamburg, went on vacation to Denmark and recently threw a big birthday party for my grandfather. It's been a great time, but I really do miss blogging and talking about books here on the blog and on Twitter. Here's at least an attempt at returning to a more constant and frequent blogging schedule. So I thought it would be fun to share a few pictures from my Denmark vacation and the books I read in the three weeks on the beach.

First I read all six books in the BLOODLINES series by Richelle Mead. It took about a week. And I had a massive Adrian Ivashkov hangover after that epic binge read, I assure you. Out of the six BLOODLINES books I liked SILVER SHADOWS best. It had action and certainly the best parts of Syndey and Adrian's romance. This series is definitely a must-read for everyone who enjoyed the VAMPIRE ACADEMY books!

   After vampires and a great series I decided to read the second VERONICA MARS book, MR. KISS AND TELL by Rob Thomas and Jennifer Graham. It was so good to be back in Neptune because Veronica still rocks! Another YA thriller I read was THE KILLING WOODS by Lucy Christopher which was a complete disappointment. I'm not even sure I want to write a review about it.

   WHEN YOU WERE HERE by Daisy Whitney and SAINT ANYTHING by Sarah Dessen and #SCANDAL by Sarah Ockler where all quite enjoyable reads, not entirely what I expected them to be though. 

So far I haven't had so much luck with picking brilliant five-star reads in 2015. I would have expected to find most of them among my summer reads, but out of the eleven books I read while on vacation I would only name SILVER SHADOWS a true 5-star read. I'm really counting on your summer reads recommendations in the comments!

Q! I could really use a few more awesome YA contemporary reads. What have you read so far this summer? 

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Release Tour: One Prince, Two Kingdoms by Jana Grissom

One Prince, Two Kingdoms
by Jana Grissom




Release date:

May 12th 2015







My forehead’s throbbing. One minute this girl is yelling at me for giving up and the next, she’s laughing. Whiplash.

I squint my eyes at Danielle and whisper with my lips firmly in place, “I will never give up.”

Her voice is high and cheerful, “So what’s your plan?”

Johnny Boggs is a teen with trouble to spare who has learned one thing in life - trust no one. Paranoia befriends him as he moves into his fifth foster home and discovers no one appears as they are, his dreams are not just dreams, and he is supposedly the Prince of Shamayim.

On Johnny’s sixteenth birthday, fate requires him to leave the protection of this world but allows for him to choose to reign over the light or turn to the darkness. A vicious competition begins as two kingdoms fight for his loyalty while two beautiful girls, Danielle and Shay, fight for his attention. Time is running out; a decision must be made. Johnny finds it impossible to resist the beauty of his dreams, nor can he turn away from the one who has his heart.



AMAZON US | GOODREADS | TATE PUBLISHING

EXCERPT

Footsteps enter my bedroom and approach my bunk. Not. Right. Now. I pretend to be asleep. A cold chill covers my body, making every hair stand on end. Then the bedroom door slams shut. I’m not in the freaking mood! Expecting to see one of my annoying foster brothers, I jerk my head toward the door and punch my fist into the mattress. “What!” I yell out, but no one’s there.

My eyes dart all around the room. Maybe there’s a draft, or someone shut another door causing this one to slam. Doubt it. I’m sure it’s just JC and Miguel trying to get even. “Hilarious, guys, I’m so scared. Now get the hell outta here.” I throw my pillow at the door and myself back on my bed.

An abnormal silence plays with my mind. I decide to reach for my headphones, but I can’t move. My heart jumps. No matter how hard I flex, my arm is stuck to the mattress. My lungs suck in air while every other organ aches under the pressure. An uncontrollable trembling takes over. What. The. Heck. Is. Going. On. My eyes blink over a hundred miles per hour. I can’t move, I can’t speak, I can’t, and then I realize I only have one ability left — sight.

Next to my bed stands a huge man with solid black corneas full of swirling dark fog in his vacant orbs, the Hollow Man. He’s staring me down again, but this time we’re the only ones in the room—no queen, no Camaro, no Mom. This can’t be real. It’s just another one of my crazy dreams. I go along for the ride, like I have a choice. The Hollow Man stands there clenching his fists, causing his abnormally large pecs to flex. My heart races, and my stomach threatens to return my lunch. An intense pain surges as he’s controlling every cell in my body without touching me.

The Hollow Man speaks, “Prince, why are you lying here as if you are a helpless child?” He turns off his death stare, and I feel an instant release followed by the familiar ache of a four-hour football workout in the Texas heat. Is this guy serious? Prince? And how am I supposed to fight something that isn’t really there? My chest tightens, and I try to wake up.

ABOUT AUTHOR

Jana Grissom is a middle school teacher, an advocate for foster children and at-risk teens, a mom of two amazing teens, and married to Roy, her high-school sweetheart.
Jana holds a Master of Education in Administration and Policy Studies and offers professional development in bullying identification, prevention, and intervention. She is available to speak to students at secondary schools about the writing process or bring a message that challenges them to S.T.O.P. bullying and suicide.
Jana is a Texas girl who loves the outdoors, flip-flops, chocolate, and sweet tea. In her spare time, she loves escaping to imaginary worlds through the magic of books.



WEBSITE | BLOG | GOODREADS | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | LINKEDIN

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Blog Tour: The Summer After You and Me by Jennifer Salvato Doktorski - Deleted Scene

Welcome to the Jersey Shore! A very fabulous summer lies ahead of you. And if you want to make it perfect you just have to grab a copy of Jennifer Salvato Doktorski's newest book! As part of the Sourcebooks Fire blog tour I'm sharing a deleted scene from the original draft of THE SUMMER AFTER YOU AND ME today. Enjoy!

Will it be a summer of fresh starts or second chances?

For Lucy, the Jersey Shore isn’t just the perfect summer escape, it’s home. As a local girl, she knows not to get attached to the tourists. They breeze in during Memorial Day weekend, crowding her costal town and stealing moonlit kisses, only to pack up their beach umbrellas and empty promises on Labor Day. Still, she can’t help but crush on charming Connor Malloy. His family spends every summer next door, and she longs for their friendship to turn into something deeper.

Then Superstorm Sandy sweeps up the coast, bringing Lucy and Connor together for a few intense hours. Except nothing is the same in the wake of the storm, and Lucy is left to pick up the pieces of her broken heart and her broken home. Time may heal all wounds, but with Memorial Day approaching and Connor returning, Lucy’s summer is sure to be filled with fireworks.

About the Author:

Jennifer Salvato Doktorski is the author of two YA novels and is a freelance nonfiction writer. Her first paid writing gig was at The North Jersey Herald & News, where she wrote obituaries and began her lifelong love of news and coffee. She lives in New Jersey with her family.

Want to buy a copy? Here are some links: Amazon | Apple | BAM  |  B&N  |  Chapters  | Indiebound

_____________________________________________________ 
 

 

The Sumer After You and Me - Deleted Scene

Jennifer Salvato Doktorski: "A few scenes from THE SUMMER AFTER YOU AND ME didn’t make the cut. This is one of them. In the original draft, Connor convinces Lucy that she and Andrew should go on a double-date with him and his girlfriend, Bryn. The two couples drive together to a party “OTB” (Over the bridge) in Toms River, which is the town across the Barnegat Bay from Seaside Park. In this scene, Connor, Bryn, Lucy, and Andrew are returning home from the party in Connor’s father’s car. They’ve just pulled into the driveway that separate’s Connor’s house from Lucy’s."

“Who’s that?” Bryn asks as the car rolls past Liam toward the detached garage in back of the Malloy house. It’s funny how their garage survived the storm but our guest cottage didn’t. The devastation caused by the storm is disturbing on so many levels, but the randomness compounds everyone’s frustrations and feelings of futility.

“My brother,” I say.

“Really? You look nothing alike.”

We’ve heard that one all our lives. If you ask me, he got the better deal in the DNA shuffle. Mom’s blue eyes, Dad’s jet black hair, skin that turns mocha brown. It trumps brown eyes, dirty blond hair that needs heavy doses of sunlight to turn golden, and skin that requires SPF of fifty or above.

“They’re twins,” Andrew says as he opens his car door.

“Really?!” Color Bryn shocked. “I guess they’re not identical,” she says.

Should I bother to tell her boy/girl twins are never identical? It’s another thing that gets so old.

“Boys and girls can’t be identical twins.” Connor sounds annoyed as he opens his door. “They’re always fraternal.”

“That’s what I said.” Bryn says once she’s out of the car. “They look nothing alike.”

I roll my eyes at Andrew and slide across the seat to get out on his side of the car. For some reason, I don’t want to end up standing next to Bryn.

Connor puts out a hand to shake Andrew’s. “Thanks for coming man,” he says.

“Thanks for the ride,” Andrew says. “We should do it again. I may be working at Rafferty’s this summer. You should come hang out.”

No, no, no! There will be no hanging out with Connor and Bryn. It’s already too weird, confusing, unnecessary and… what else? There’s got to be more. Bryn joins us on our side of the car puts her arm around Connor’s waist and snuggles against him. Oh, yeah. Depressing.

“Well, good night!” I say, desperate to wrap things up and walk over to my yard. “Have a safe trip back and enjoy the prom.”

“When’s your prom?” Andrew asks. “Ours is June fourteenth.”

“Bryn’s is the night before,” Connor says.

“A Thursday?”

“Friday is senior cut day,” Bryn explains. “Everyone goes away for a long weekend after prom.”

That’s right. Connor mentioned they’d be here for prom weekend. Maybe Andrew and I should go away. Yeah, right. My parents aren’t letting me go anywhere overnight with a boy. Even if that boy is Andrew.

“Well, see ya,” I say. Making a second attempt to end this night.

“Later,” Andrew says.

When we’re finally in my yard, Andrew walks me with onto the back porch and kisses me goodnight at the kitchen door.

“Coming to the annual Clark Memorial Day par-tay tomorrow?” Andrew asks.

“Please tell me you don’t use the phrase par-tay around anyone but me.”

Andrew pretends to get all serious. “I’m sorry I can’t do that. So are you coming or what?”

“Of course. Right after work. I wouldn’t miss it.”

My parents and Liam usually go too. The Clarks throw quite a bash. I’ve always envied Andrew’s parents fun-loving ways. They seem happiest when they have a house and yard full of people. My parents don’t exactly go out of their way to entertain.

“See you tomorrow,” I say before I close the door.

“Text me when you’re leaving work.”

“I will.”

Yay for work! I’m thrilled that I won’t be around at all tomorrow. Won’t have to see Connor and Bryn getting into his pick-up together and driving off toward the Garden State Parkway.

I lock the backdoor then surreptitiously peek out front to see if Liam’s still on the porch. He isn’t. I lock the front door since Liam didn’t of course. At the landing on the top of the steps, I pause and listen for signs of movement in Liam’s room. Hearing the familiar discordant thrum! I know he just plunked down his acoustic in its stand. Good. He’s in there. Locking my brother out would be bad.

As quickly and quietly as possible, I scamper up to my room. Avoiding Liam feels wrong. So did double-dating with Connor. I wasn’t exactly honest with Andrew about how that came about. So yeah, I get why Liam’s annoyed with me, but I haven’t really forgiven him for sabotaging and severing my connection to Connor back in the fall. My brother has no right to be angry with me, not when he was the one who caused the unsettling turn my love life has taken.

My eyes cut to my bedroom window. Before turning on the light, I cross the room to pull down the shade. Outside Connor is alone in his driveway. He’s leaning against the trunk of his father’s car, looking down at his phone. I watch the top of his head for a few seconds, wondering if he’s going to look up. My vantage point, both the height and the angle, remind me of that day in October. I paused at the top of the grand staircase when I saw Connor near the entranceway studying a framed seascape in muted pastels. I held my breath. Wondering if he’d meant everything he’d just said and trying to picture waking up every morning and finding him there. He must have felt me staring. For once, I wasn’t being sneaky about it and the expression on his face when our eyes locked told me I didn’t have to be, not anymore.

I felt like we covered so much ground that day; that we became an “us”. Look at me now, I think as I stand hidden in the shadows of my room, back where I started. I guess it’s where I belong. I wait one second more for Connor to look up. When he doesn’t, I pull the shade down and go to bed.

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